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Thursday, December 25, 2014

Comments

Thinking of you this Christmas Day & feeling your hurt. I've been where you are, so I understand what you're going through. Waiting for your family member to pass is a terribly stressful and emotionally draining thing. I so wish there was an easier way. I hope your mom finds the peace to let go and that peace finds itself to your heart too.

Nina

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom, Howard. My wife and I went through this same thing with my father-in-law this last spring. He died before Father's Day and this has been our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without him. You're not alone; lots of people have been where you are now.

Never a good time or a right time or a time we can prepare our hearts for. Hugs to you and Linda and Dad.

God bless you, Howard. Craig and I know exactly what you all are going through. We have walked a mile in your shoes. At this very same time last year our story was the same as yours... practically word for word. So, we feel your pain. Understand that everything happens for a reason... in His perfect timing. Singing praises that you have had this very special time with your mom. You are doing a wonderful job and your mom would be proud. Praying for you all. Craig and I send big 'ol Texas-size hugs!!

Sorry you've had such a rough week. Prayers for your mom's continued comfort and peaceful passing. And prayers for all who love and support her in her time of suffering. Hugs from Arizona.

Howard, Linda and your family I am so sorry. We were exactly where you are 3 years ago. It was a very difficult Christmas for us as we waited for my mom and dad to move on. It is a hard place to be and Although your mom can't express it, I am sure she knows you are there and feels your love. Please know you have many people standing behind you ready to help in any way we can.

Our hearts go out to you and your family Howard. In February our 57 year old DIL died and we went through exactly what you are doing now. It was without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever had to do--it seemed as if we were indeed going to their house every day to hold her hand and "watch her die." May your memories sustain you and your Dad during this time.

Oh Howard I just hate this for you, for your father and for your mother. It seems so unfair. I find it cruel. My heart goes out to all of you.

May your Christmas bring you peace and a chance to prepare for what is to come. My mom left us last September, with a fall, a broken hip, and a heart that wasn't strong enough to survive the repair surgery. It was all within 12 hours, from totally normal morning to gone by nighttime. We were spared the long wait, but faced the shock in a much shorter time. Bless all of you who are there to provide love and support for your parents during this difficult time. May you find the strength to sustain you as you help your parents through this time of transition.

Howard & Linda,
I understand your waiting - as I,too, have waited with my sister in law and brother.
With my brother we hoped he would 'wake up' but it was not to be, and after 2 weeks we went back to Methodist Hospital, the next morning at 8 am, to make it 'official'. Greg had been 'gone' since his emergency surgery.
With my sister in law, Reggie, it was different. More like you are with your mother.
I remember standing next to her parents, my in laws, after hours in the emergency room... then time in her room just holding her hand and stroking her face.
As she made her journey home, though, it seemed in the end to be a beautiful process.
I've not had children, but I thought of the way babies are welcomed and loved as they enter this life.
I truly felt, as we surrounded Reggie, that we were loving her right back... right back into God's loving arms and eternal life.
It's the way I hope to go - surrounded by love.
I pray you find this peace as you surround your mother with love. God bless all of you.

Really feel for you, as I know just how you are feeling having gone through it with my darling mum in September. I don't believe it will be long now, just continue to talk to her, as difficult as this may be, as I believe she can still hear you. Hugs, prayers and best wishes to all of you.

I am so sorry Howard. As have so many others, I've been in the exact same place as you are now, quite recently in fact and it is so hard. You are there for your dad which is so very important. You are in my prayers this season.

My mom passed away just recently--November 17th--from lung cancer. While she experienced very little pain, she wasted away to practically nothing and that is one of the hardest things I've had to endure. May God give you strength as you go through this with your mom.

Dear Howard and Linda, I feel as though I am living with you through this time in your life. Its very hard and I know it wont be a Merry Christmas but one of which you shall remember and its Gods way. Its one of the hardest times of our lives in letting a parent go and to see them.

Hold on to every minute with your Mom. Talk to her while you are there just as you would if she were at home (earlier times). She may or may not get all you are saying, but know that you are not giving up. My heart goes out to you and your Family.

As horrible as it may seem most people will fight to live even though they are in severe pain. The night before my father past no medication could ease his pain and after a talk with a nurse I told him it was alright to let go that we understood his pain. Upon hearing those words he became relaxed and you would have thought there was no pain. He passed peacefully the next morning. Six weeks later I had to do the same for my mother.
It is a sorrowful time but a life with the pain they are enduring is not living. Cry your tears for them but then it is time to move on.

Rick Rousseau

It's about time

I empathize completely, having gone through similar episodes with my parents. All you can do is be with her and let her know she is loved. She will pass when she is ready.

It was only after both of my parents died that I found the photos. Dozens. Some almost 100 years old of long passed nameless ancestors.

Please know that you and Linda are in our thoughts.

It just doesn't seem fair for you to be experiencing such a very sad time when you bring such joy to others. Thinking of you & praying for your Mom, Dad and Linda & you both.

(((HUGS))) and more prayers.

I have read your blog for the longest time, but rarely comment. . .this post really touched me. . .and my heart hurts for you both.

Reading your comments of not knowing the stories in the home movies makes me realize the importance even more of documenting the journey.

We've cleaned out two of our parent's homes. . .Dave's Mom and my Dad which somehow makes me contemplate each decision we make with the thought. ..the boys will need to deal with this later. . .so things I consider treasures will have no meaning whatsoever to them. . .

Please know we are thinking of you. . .may peace surround you. . .

Howard and Linda,
While many of us have lost one or both of our parents, perhaps in similar situations, none of us are exactly where you are. We all experience death and grief in our own individual ways because all families, relationships and we as individuals are quite different. My only advice is for you and your family - do, go, be, what feels right/best for you. If may be quite different from how others work their way through similar circumstances but the important question - Is it right for you and long term gives you the most peace.

My hear breaks for you. So sorry you have to experience this but know that my husband and I have and will continue to pray for you daily, asking God to give you strength, rest and peace.

Anne Armstrong

Thankfully, my folks passed quickly, but we endured the longer passing of Jo's parents. It isn't easy, and more problems could come in the future if you have some depression. At least I did.

Be strong for your dad. Our thoughts, and especially our prayers, are with all of you. God bless all of you in this troubling time.

Terry

In case you try to date that photo with the trailer, that's a 58 Chevy in front of it.

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I had something comforting to say to you. It's a shame that we don't allow our animals to go through this kind of death, and we can't give our parents the same kind of dignified death. Al found his mother laying dead in bed. While it was extremely shocking and difficult, we had some comfort knowing she passed quietly in her sleep. I wish the same for your Mother. Our prayers are with you and your family.

Sadness... I feel sadness, for you not for me. Both of my parents are gone now, as well as my younger sister who passed away from cancer last year. The holidays just aren't the same for me anymore. I went through this for a year with my wife before she finally passed away from her accident. In a strange way it was both a blessing and a relief because I knew she wasn't suffering any longer. As hard as it is on you it's a blessing that you can be with your Mom and Dad at this time. God bless you and I'm still sending prayers for peace and strength.

Blessings to you. Perhaps you can take a computer and watch a clip with Mom during your next visit? She may be quiet . . . she will enjoy. Letting go is hard to do and the best gift, too.

Bill and I will keep all of you in our hearts and thoughts. Wishing Peace to all of you.

This is the part I hated when my dad passed. You want it to be over for them, and feel so guilty about what you are thinking. The stress is just about unbearable.

Thinking of you and wishing you the blessings of Christmas.

This is such a rough time for all of you. I certainly know what you're going through. Be strong for one another and your Dad especially. Love to you all.

Howard, you speak from the heart and it touches us all. Your mother is so lucky to have you by her bedside, and your father is lucky to have your support. I'm sure they're both so grateful to have such a loving son.

It is probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do...and we are honored that you speak so candidly to us about it.

(Hugs)

Howard Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Your MOM will live in your Heart Forever.

Sherri and I have stood by all of our parents and held their hands while they made the journey to a better place. We know what you are going through and if there was something we could write down here to ease your pain we would. However, there is no words that can do that. One great thing you have is the memory of those times when your Mom was able to be with you and make your life better. I miss my Mom but I know that she is resting in a place much better than the one I am in. With knowing that I find comfort in her passing.

Love you both
Sherri Joe and Kris

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